15 Jan 2006

Translated in to English by: Ms. Ava

Mekabiz is a 21-year-old, transsexual and a resident of Mashad, Iran. He has had an unpleasant life full of hardships. Right now his situation is very grave. His condition is so terrible that it saddens even the hardest of hearts and makes us wonder why it truly has to be this way. Since he was a young child he has been subjected to rape and all kinds of sexual abuse and molestation and up until today his rights have been violated. He was mistreated and harmed by his family members. At the end his own family, which is every persons support, denied him and he was forced into society. He has experienced many hardships, and has fell victim to vicious people several times in the past.

His transsexual lifestyle, being abandoned by his family, and the pressures of society have crushed this young man till he found himself in prison, and he was punished by lashing. Because of his feminine attire which is an outcome of is his true self, he has suffered endlessly. In prison he was repeatedly raped, so to get away from this hellish nightmare he attempted suicide. The outcome of his unsuccessful suicide was him becoming a drug addict.

At the moment Mekabiz does not have a place to live, he spends some nights on the streets sleeping on cartons and sooner or later he will fall prey to other wolfs in society. Mekabiz is an example of the systematic cruelty that Iran’s society places on its sexual orientation minorities. The only thing he wants is to have a safe place to call home, and to live without fear of the past, and this is not much to ask.

Mekabiz has sworn in court to a judge that he will abandon his life style and not continue being who his, but is this really possible? Surely it isn’t.

Mekabiz’s life is in danger

We have witnessed two executions in Mashad already, but we fear if Mekabiz is arrested and sent to jail again for whatever reason, we will have a third execution on our hands. We should not let these disasters continue. Our friends in Mashad have made contact with Mekabiz and have interviewed him. We call your attention to the interview below. We hope that you will grace us with your help to save Mekabiz and others out there just like him, so we can take a step forward and do our share in helping humanity. Let’s get out of the world of paper, pencils and writing and get into the world of action.

Hello dear Mekabiz, I am interviewing you on behalf of the Persian Gay & Lesbian Organization. We want to know the story behind you getting arrested. For my first question please introduce yourself and tell us how old you are.

I’m Mekabiz, twenty one years old and born in Mashad.

How many years has it been since you found out about your true feelings?

I have always been attracted to the same sex, and even as a child I had sexual relations with people of my own gender, one of which was my neighbor’s son.

How old were you then?

I was about five years old and my sexual experiences started at this time and continued all throughout my elementary years. From that time on I always befriended the pretty boys in my class and I was always hung out with them. But at that period in my life the only person I was intimate with was my cousin.

When did you come out to your family?

Around the same time I was having relations with our neighbor’s son my mom found out and so she begged my father to change our house and leave that neighborhood. However she didn’t tell him anything about my situation, because my father was a strict career man, and if he had known, he would have probably killed me. Another time that my mother figured me out was when my cousin stayed at our house and I would sleep by him each and every night.

Your mother didn’t have any reactions to these findings?

Yes, she did. The first time when my mother found out that our neighbor’s son is having sex with me I was six years old. She fought with the boy, and beat me with a gardening hose. She hit me so bad that I couldn’t get out of bed for a month.

The second time I was in fifth grade in elementary, and she punished me by burning my feet, hands and behind. She then had an argument with my cousin and threw him out of our house. She never spoke to him again.

Do you identify yourself as transsexual or gay?

I am a transsexual man.

How old were these people who were having sexual relations with you?

My cousin started having sex with me when he was 18 and I was in second grade in elementary, and this continued till he was 21 and I was in fifth grade.

The neighbor’s son was 22 years old, and he had sex with me until he was 24. I was four when it started and six years old when it ended.

At that time you were so young and your body was lithe, didn’t it bother you at all?

I have always had a big body build. When I was four I had the body of an eight year old. When my mom wanted to sign me up for first grade, the lady asked her, how many years has your son flunked? And I couldn’t do anything about my physique anyway.

After your mother found out about the relationship you had with your cousin, how long did you go before having sex again?

After my mother found about my cousin she didn’t trust anyone anymore. Until I got to high school I was under her strict control and I was very limited. After enrolling in high school I started having sex with my classmates, or older boys who were available. Sometimes under pressure I did things that in my heart I didn’t agree with. I would get into a taxi that had a young driver and offer sex, I satisfied myself this way.

What was your position in sexual acts?

I always played the role of a woman in her husband’s total control. My sexual partners had sex with me anyway they pleased.

When did your dad find out about your feelings?

He found out after I got arrested.

Is it possible for you to tell us about your arrest?

It had been a while since I befriended a boy named Pedram, who was a student at one of Mashads cities. One night at around 1 o’clock I was sitting in Kohsangi Park by myself when I noticed a boy with a good body, who was Pedram, he wanted me to give him a lighter so he could smoke a cigar. I liked him so I opened up to him and struck up a conversation with him. One night he invited me to the city where he was studying at and we had sex that night. Ofcors he isn’t gay, he’s bisexual. He introduced me to his friends in Mashad, and when he was out of town four of his friends had sex with me. When I went to him, I would have sex with him and two of his friends.

One of Pedram’s friends, named Ali, wanted to return me to Mashad on his motorcycle. I was wearing women’s clothing (manto roosari) and obviously I had make-up on. On the way a traffic police stopped us to see if Ali had the authorization papers to be in the city and he also wanted to check his driver’s license. The manto I was wearing was very tight and it hugged my body, and sadly my manhood was causing a visible bump in my manto. That made the traffic officer suspicious that I might be carrying and smuggling drugs or something. A woman officer was called in from the head quarters. She came about five minutes later, because we weren’t that far from the main head quarters. She touched my legs, and lifted my manto and yelled: “He’s a man.” The male officer immediately hit me in the mouth so hard that two of me teeth broke.

In interrogation Ali denied knowing me at all. He told them: “I thought he was a girl and I wanted to take him home with me, but thank god you guys stopped us and now I know that this piece of garbage (he meant me) is a guy.” At the end they only punished Ali with fifteen lashes and sent him free. All of my troubles started from then on.

Tell us what happened to you?

In the few days that I was in temporary arrest, everyday a few officers would come and beat me up, because of the way I was. Some of them would play pranks on and make fun of me. In court the judge acted as if he was sentencing a dirty animal, and he treated me very poorly. Once I asked him: “Your honor why do you treat me as if I’m an animal?” He replied: “You are dirtier and lower than a pig.”

What did you say in your defense?

I said that I wore women’s clothing to joke around with my friend. But Ali’s confetion had ruined everything. He sold me out so he wouldn’t get into trouble. The judge sentenced me to three months in prison and sixty lashes.

Can you give a little explanation as how you were arrested and the lashings?

When my lashing sentence came the officer there said: “Get yourself ready for a good beating, our massers are famous!” They then took me to where I was going to get lashed. It was a big room; they took my clothes off and held me in a standing position. They tied my hands. First off they started to read some Quran then the beating started. The man hit me so hard that after thirteen lashes I past out. They brought me back to consciousness and started to hit me again.

Do you have your sentencing paper or any pictures of the marks that the lashes left on your body or any other type evidence?

My court papers are with my father, regrettably because I had no friends I have no pictures or other types of evidence.

Where did you get lashed at?

I got lashed in the room of carrying out the sentencing at Vakil Abad’s prison.

Tell us about your prison experience?

I had never suffered so much in my entire life. They put me in section one, which was the special place for drug dealers and the prisoners who were sentenced to death, those who had life in prison were also there. Those bastards put me in a place where the youngest inmate was 39 years old. All of the inmates were gangsters and people who if you saw you wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. So I asked them, “Why won’t you put me in a place for younger people?” Because the boys who looked different were in a special place. These inmates were pigs; if a boy with a normal appearance came in they wouldn’t let him go and would surly force themselves onto him, so it was even worse for me. You can’t believe it but when I walked in they looked at me like their women’s had just walked in.

Everyone in section one forcefully had sex with me. They even tattooed my backside, they wrote graffiti on my behind with a knife. On one side they wrote: “Souvenir from Vakil Abad prison” with a knife. You can’t imagine what kind of hell I went through, I always prayed for god to kill me. I even attempted suicide once but it wasn’t successful.

First of all why didn’t they take you to the place for younger people, secondly how did you try to kill yourself?

When I asked them why don’t you put me with the younger people they only made fun of me and said things like, “You’ve been with so many young people, so now you can have sex with your inmates, they’re people too you know, the poor people will never have real sex again, because they will be put to death or they will be in here for the rest of their lives, and you know that masturbation is no fun, …” and tons of other crude remarks.

About my attempted suicide; I asked one of the guys who frequently raped me to give me some opium. He gave me some, and I ate it all hoping to die. But instead of dying I became a drug addict. Initially I was unconscious for three days, but after that the guys would force me to do drugs, they destroyed me.

Did you tell the prison supervisors that you were being raped? What was their response?

I told them once but they just said you’ve already had a lot of sex, we know that you like it so just take it, enjoy it and shut up.

In prison did any of the officers or supervisors have sex with you? Or propose it?

No, they just bullied me and made fun of me, for example they would say, “Hey sister how are your husbands?” Whenever the boss saw me, he acted as if he has seen the devil. He would be rude to me, and cursed at me in Arabic.

Altogether how long did you remain arrested and how long did it take for you sentencing to come?

I spent three weeks in the detention center waiting for my sentencing, and after that I went to prison.

What happened after you were set free?

When I was let out, I rented a car to go home. When I got home, my father kicked me out.

How is your relationship with your family?

My relationship with my family has never been one of good nature. Before I was arrested my mother and sister’s constant berating tortured me. But after I was arrested my father declared that I wasn’t his child anymore.

Did your family have control over you?

Up until I went to high school they had control over me, but after that they had no control over me.

How many people are there in your family?

There are six people in my family. Other than my mother and father only one of my brothers has married and is living in a different town. I have another brother and a sister besides him.

How would you describe your family’s economic situation?

My father is a retired army officer and our economic situation is good.

What is your family member’s educational level?

All of my family members have a university education, except for me. I only have a high school diploma.

Have you finished your military service (sarbazi)?

I didn’t do my military service. I got an exemption letter form Tehran, because I’m transgender. In my letter it’s written that he is excused because of mental disorder. This means that the doctors see us transgender people as metal patients. But anyways, I didn’t go to my Sarbazi.

Have you been tested for HIV?

No I haven’t been tested yet. I’m afraid that if I get tested the results will come back positive, because those inmates were really dirty people. It’s not unlikely that I’m infected. I’m asking all the people who read this interview to help me, because since I’ve came out of prison I don’t have anybody. My family doesn’t care about me and won’t pay attention to me. Right now I sleep in cartons on the street. Sometimes I sleep at some rotten people’s house. I have befriended them just so I can have a place to sleep. They demand that I smuggle drugs because I require money for my living expenses. Please help me.

What kind of help do you want? And what have you planned for yourself?

The only help I want is to have a place I can live in so I can get out of the situation I am in right now, and get a job with a steady pay check. About my goals I have to say that my only goal is to achieve peace with another man, I mean I want to marry a guy how loves me and find peace living with him.

What’s your biggest wish in life?

I already told you, my wish is to have a good life with someone I truly care about, but unfortunately this is impossible in Iran.

How do you pay for your life expenses?

Before I got arrested my father paid for my expenses but now some of my friends help me out, and take care of my cash needs.

Why do you think this accident happened to you?

I think it’s because I was wearing women’s clothing and also some bad luck.

Who do you blame for what happened?

I think the blame rests with the heavy religious beliefs that are rooted in Iran’s culture today.

What were you doing at that time in Kohsangi Park that night?

I had gone there to take a walk and think about my misfortunes.

How long have been smoking cigars and why?

It started smoking when I was in junior in middle school. I started this habit because of my emotional issues.

Do you have any connections with Pedram and his friends? After your accident what happened to them?

I have no connections with Pedram and his friends. After what happened to me they didn’t want to have anything to do with me. By saying that they didn’t know me they saved themselves.

What’s your biggest fear in life?

My biggest fear is being arrested again, because I swore in front of the judge that I wouldn’t be who I am anymore, and act the way I do.

At the end I want to thank you for giving us your time. Will you give us permission to print this interview?

I thank you for your effort in relating my experience to others. You have my permission to print this interview.

We hope that this interview speaks to you and shows you a small aspect of the tortures and oppressions that Iranian’s of sexual orientation minority face. Please send us your comments and feedback through info@irqo.net the department of Human Rights Affairs of the Organizations of Persian Gays & Lesbians. Please remember to frequently check the organizations site at www.pglo.net and get information on the newest news and events by checking the announcement section. We would greatly appreciate it if you would link us back in your sites and personal WebPages. Please don’t forget to post and print this in your media.

Arsham Parsi

Secretary of Human Rights Affairs

Persian Gay & Lesbian Organization